I wouldn’t say it was a slow start but I know my nerves had kicked in. The anticipation of having an idea and then wondering if you are going to enjoy it once you have started it were certainly being felt. Although these pieces aren’t commissions in any way, the sheer fact that I present them first to the volunteer, and because it is of them, conjures up similar anxious feelings I get each time I complete a commission.

My intention was to paint the first version and share it with the volunteer and then once the second painting was complete, I would then share this, and the same process on social media. However, upon reflection I felt it better to share both together so you could make an instant comparison.

The photo I was sent my the volunteer to work from, reminded me of a pose that I painted as a part of the 100 heads challenge I completed a couple of years ago. I also try and respond to the character, although the main aim was to paint and respond to the photo aesthetically, it’s impossible for me to remove personalty from the process. I felt a real strength of character from the photo, so this was the main focus emotion wise.

This is the first painting I created-

The process is, that once I have completed the first painting that I ask the volunteer to send me some information about themselves. People are able to send me as much or as little as they would like.

These are the words I was sent-

I have been a stay-at-home mom and a single mom.

I have been a bank teller, a diesel mechanic, a substitute teacher, and a soldier.

I have been a high-school dropout and university faculty.

I am old enough to have done all of those things and also to have been a nurse for 24 years and a nurse practitioner for 17 years.

I have taken care of patients in the ER, war, the ICU and in jail.

I have three wonderful, clever, big-hearted sons who make the world a better place.

I fear failure.

I have faith in God and take comfort in church.

I cuss, I have a temper, I am sometimes impatient.

I talk to my sister every day and love her more than I can convey.

I fiercely and stubbornly and sometimes foolishly guard my independence.

I love the water, the sunshine and solitude.

I have been punched in the face, changed my own brakes and known heartache.

I take pleasure in creature comforts and indulgences.

I paint, and when I do, all the nagging details of my responsibilities fall away.

I want to see the Northern Lights, and someday I will.

This is the painting I created in response to their words-

I was beautifully overwhelmed by how open Carmen (not all volunteers will be named), was with her vulnerability and honesty when describing herself. Also herein came the first challenge. There is so much to work from here, and it’s all Carmen. I initially struggled as I wanted to convey everything, but soon came to realise that it would mean less by trying to say more.

One focus was to express the contrasts within Carmen’s experiences and personality.

I used a mixture of washes and bold brushstrokes, more washes in this painting compared to the first, as a very literal way of presenting contrasts. I use these variations in lots of my work, I wanted it to be more apparent in this piece. I think that as a consequence this portrait has a much more gentle feeling compared to the first version.

I wanted to convey her independence, but I felt that she was using this not just because she is strong and independent, but that it was a way of self preservation, that she didn’t want to appear vulnerable and rely on people to protect her. I decided that by altering the composition, I could communicate this. I cropped part of the portrait, giving the message that although she is here and present, she is not willing to give every part of her, and she is doing this to protect herself.

The final part I chose to include in the painting is from the last line Carmen wrote “I want to see the Northern Lights, and someday I will.”

I love painting on a green background, but in this case I didn’t want it to be a solid background as I wanted it represent the Northern Lights. The reason I chose to incorporate this part though, is not because I love green as that would be about me. It’s the fact that Carmen wrote that she “will” visit the Northern lights as opposed to she “hopes” to, and I love this commitment to something she really wants to do.

As an art lover I am really open to how we interpret art, and I am absolutely here for art that appeals to me on an aesthetic level and nothing more. I am also happy if this is the part that brings joy to people when they view my work. This project isn’t about forcing another level or viewpoint on from my work, but just a beautiful experiment to see if knowing someone a little more changes the way I feel compelled to paint them.

Thank you for reading this blog. All of the portraits are collated on a page on the website to view together, just tap HERE, and available paintings will be listed on the Original Art page.

with love and thanks

Flo x

Do you know them? Portrait Project- First Volunteer paintings