Once again this portrait has taken me longer to find time for than I anticipated, I think I need to understand that this project won’t have the same pace as the “100 heads challenge” and that this is ok. I commenced the “100 heads challenge” during lockdown and so need to appreciate my current situation is very different.

My 3rd volunteer, Louise, sent me numerous photos to work from and they all varied greatly from one another. I was drawn to this particular photo as it felt more raw and vulnerable. I wanted to try and convey both strength and the vulnerability in the portrait. The lines and bold brushstrokes alluding the bare bones of what makes “us” who we are, and a willingness to share this. In the photo I also saw strength and resilience, someone not ready to give up, which is why I chose to show some areas really quite developed, such as her mouth.

My work is as much about experimenting with aesthetics as it is conveying an emotion. In this painting I wanted to return to leaving some areas really underdeveloped and to use yellow as it isn’t a colour I use that often- it also offered an interesting contrast to the feel of the pose.

Louise then sent me her words about herself-

“I’m returning to work after 7 years of being at home with my children. I feel petrified and excited. I know what I love doing but have totally lost my sense of identity. I want to be in a team but also crave alone time. I don’t know where I will end up but I’m trying to trust the process and believe in myself.

“It’s okay to feel all the stuff you’re feeling. You’re not doing life wrong, you’re doing it right. If there’s any secret you’re missing, it’s that doing it right is just really hard. Feeling all of your feelings is hard, but that’s what they’re for. Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones. The secret is that you’re doing it right, and that doing it right hurts sometimes.’  Extract from Untamed by Glennon Doyle”

The loss of sense of Identity really grabbed my attention. I felt that I could resonate with this as I am also a parent and then after choosing an art career after 13 years in recruitment, I felt I didn’t really know who I was. (still don’t)

I knew straight away that I wanted to have 2 portraits on the one painting and that I wanted them to be both really different and similar, I wanted them to both feel like my style despite being really different, because I wanted to represent the many versions of ourselves, and our evolution. Each of the portraits have both paint and charcoal lines visible but in varying volumes, and they are obviously a mirror image of one another…. as for the most part we only see our reflection not what everyone else sees.

As an art lover I am really open to how we interpret art, and I am absolutely here for art that appeals to me on an aesthetic level and nothing more. I am also happy if this is the part that brings joy to people when they view my work. This project isn’t about forcing another level or viewpoint on from my work, but just a beautiful experiment to see if knowing someone a little more changes the way I feel compelled to paint them.

Thank you for reading this blog. All of the portraits are collated on a page on the website to view together, just tap HERE, and available paintings will be listed on the Original Art page.

with love and thanks

Flo x